![]() ![]() But no, I don’t have a meaningful relationship anymore. I sometimes send postcards or presents on holidays, but it’s a very complicated situation. So there’s a lot of loss there for me.Įsther: You have no contact anymore with the child?Ĭaller: Not really. I had thought that that was going to be my family and that that was my child. I guess that’s where I’m feeling stuck.Įsther: Can I ask you something? What do you mean by false starts ?Ĭaller: I was in a four-year relationship that culminated in a marriage - and divorce shortly thereafter - during which I was a stepmom for that time. And I really hear that and want to respect that and also not sort of betray myself and the future that I feel certain I’m supposed to have. At the same time, they, I think, feel there’s a lot of pressure on them to know something that they don’t know yet. And so it’s important to me to know if I’m barking up the wrong tree, as much as I love this person. And, you know, there’s additional barriers for me in finding a healthy relationship and starting a family. It’s not something that I need to happen right now, but it feels important to know if that’s a direction that we’re heading in because I feel like I’ve had some false starts in my life before. And my partner is very not sure if that’s what they want. So I want to ask you to just phrase the question and the essence of the question one more time because it may also have evolved since you first connected with us.Ĭaller: Well, I think that there’s a lot of different corners and angles to it, but the basic essence of it is that I’m in a very committed, loving relationship, and the central conflict is that I know that I want and intend to have kids someday. And I don’t want to lose that much of my life before I try and start over with somebody.Įsther: Shall I tell you that I’m nervous every time as well? Because first of all, I’m always so honored that someone thinks, I want to bring one of the important questions of my life to this woman. I would be happy to wait for several years if I thought that they were eventually going to get there, but I don’t know that they’re going to get there. I also think that a lot of the people who are dating trans women aren’t necessarily looking to have kids, which might be a skewed perception. ![]() Some other factors: I’m trans, so the dating world is pretty tough and I don’t want to necessarily go back into it. They want to do some of the things, traveling and exploring, that I’ve gotten to do. They’re trying to figure out their career. I’m in my 30s now, and they’re just in a different stage of life. Part of it is I’m close to five years older than them. And it still is a possibility, but they don’t seem any closer to figuring out if that’s what they want. But when we first were dating, I was very clear that I knew that I wanted to have kids and that I wasn’t really trying to get into a committed relationship where that wasn’t at least a possibility. I know that I want to have kids and they aren’t sure, which is okay. I’m reaching out because I really love my partner, and this is the first time I’ve been feeling kind of stuck and, like, not sure how to move forward. And now that her family therapy practice is open for business, her patients are about to find out that her idea of "family togetherness" goes a bit beyond the norm.Hi, Esther. Belinda Malefas isn't your average psychiatrist. Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s)ĭr.Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Graphic Depictions Of Violence.The Case Notes of Belinda Malefas, Family Therapist ![]()
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